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MarkThePhoenix
"I've never been banned". - one of Mark's numerous alts, fresh out of the factory Biography MarkThePhoenix (also known as Stargazer64, mike321730, Vita4ever, NickPampers2, Supaboy, Dashingfella, KittyBandit and many more) is a notorious troll on the Vita board. He is known for always being in a constant state of anger, never leaving out an opportunity to attack anyone who disagrees with his views that Sony is perfect and that everything about the Vita is amazing. While other drones such as Servant will usually retort to confusing rhetorics and only burst out in anger when having a meltdown, Mark is incapable of keeping his feelings under control and will randomly spew poison at people without provocation. Although Mark isn't as obsessed with Sony as ServantOfErieos, his love for the corporation is still so obvious that even some of his screen names, as well as his signature ("I <3 Vita") make a very clear statement. Aside from having anger issues and being a frenzied fanboy, Mark is also renown for being a pathological liar: if things aren't looking good for the Vita (which is 99% of the time), Mark will make up blatant nonsense in an attempt to confuse other users or reassure himself. As it is typical for such angry ponydrones, he also loathes Nintendo and wakes up every day in the hope that this company will finally die and stop being a thorn in the sides of the almighty Sony. As such, the Wii U's horrible sales performance is the best thing that ever happened in Mark's life and is randomly brought up as often as possible when anyone mentions the Vita not doing well. He is usually seen posting "LOL WII U" in Media Create topics. This reassurance is essential for Mark: if the Wii U isn't flopping as bad as the Vita, Mark will instead explode in anger and get his account banned. As the bad news for the Vita piled up, Mark got more and more desperate for reassurance, so he started to spend a lot of time on the Wii U board where he turns his vitriolic droning up to eleven. There is one big difference that sets Mark apart from the other ponies in the shed: while dronies such as ManjiMidou or Sailor Goon operate on one account, Mark is renown for getting banned due to his furious, extreme meltdowns. This doesn't stop him from continuing as if nothing happened, however: as there is no other purpose in life for this person, Mark can't resist making another account for longer than one day and continues hating right where he left off. Through his new accounts always deny being Mark, it's never hard to expose this user: when Mark gets banned, just look out for a fresh 0 Karma account that will appear on the Vita board in the next few hours, hissing at all the regulars, screaming "LOL WII U" and praising the Vita, always denying being Mark in the same aggressive, yet surprised fashion ("What? I'm not Mark! I never heard of Mark and don't know who this is! Stop calling me Mark!"). Lately, Mark has been able to hold on to one account for over 100 days. This is probably because the moderators got tired of banning him, which is completely ineffective anyway as the next alt would roll out of the factory within minutes. However, after a streak of major ToS violations, even this account got banned: in the wake of the Gamescom 2014 Fallout, Mark successively went from one warning to another, then a suspension leading to purgatory and finally a suspension resulting in a ban just hours after he got out of purgatory, leaving this user confronted with the account creation form yet again. Mark's Magic GameStop The Gamescom Fallout has left Mark very desperate for reassurance, so he started hyping up the NPD numbers which were due in about a week. He did so by posting an utterly ridiculous topic titled "July NPD will be crazy." . The premise of this topic is that Mark apparently frequents a GameStop whose manager is Mark's "bud" and that the "Vita is flying off the shelves now" in this establishment. Mark then goes on record saying that they "regret not having re-stocked sooner" and finishes the opening post with "Get hyped, Vi-bros.", implying that the recent Vita shortages are due to the Vita suddenly selling like gangbusters for no apparent reason. Obviously, nobody fell for this ridiculous lie. The topic backfired hard as most users just mocked Mark and his poor reassurance. Especially the phrase that the "Vita is flying off the shelves" became a classic. Users posted that the shelf needs to be fixed if the Vita keeps flying off it and that the manager should be more careful not to knock the Vita off the shelf. The manager of this curious GameStop was claimed to be "Mark's imaginary friend". On top of that, Mark (Dashingfella at the time) blew his cover again while damage controlling the topic, not that anyone was believing his "I'm not Mark!" lies to begin with. A few days later, the NPD sales were leaked, revealing that the Vita sold "< 17k" units in July, sparking even more jokes about Mark's fantastic GameStop in which the Vita is flying off the shelves. One month later, the NPD numbers for August were released just as Mark got out of purgatory. Agitated by the horrid sales of "Vita < 6k" , Mark threw another tantrum, flamed some more regulars and made another reassurance topic that got deleted soon thereafter. In his meltdown, Mark revealed that "his" GameStop sold 10k out of the 17k Vitas sold in July, making the whole claim take a turn for the silly. By the end of the day, Mark was banned again (not one day after getting out of purgatory), ending his record streak of having an account that wasn't banned for over four months and accumulating over 100 karma on it. Memorable Quotes "WTF is wrong with you people? So what if Wii U sold better? We want every system to be successful. Anything getting an increase helps the gaming industry as a whole. This whole console war thing has always been stupid and I'm surprised how many idiots flock to it. It's like that is all they have going for in their lives. Bunch of dickwads." '' Mark having a meltdown when the "LOL WII U" schtick stopped working. The post was deleted, presumably for flaming ''"It does get annoying and I really wish Yoko would stop. It's also all he does here in this board, just post media Create numbers for all the trolls to come together in." Mark randomly getting upset at Yoko for neutrally posting a Media Create topic. While most drones hide their hate for MC Topics, Mark can't resist displaying his hurt to every user on the board on a regular basis. "I've never been banned." this lie is part of the standard repertoire of every fresh Mark alt "Imaginary friend, imaginary girlfriend. What color is my hair, since you know me so well?" Mark getting exposed in his meltdown when he's responding to someone posting "Mark's imaginary friend.". "If they're flying, why are they on the floor? Work on your trolling jokes." Mark responding to a user who hopes that someone will pick up the Vitas from the floor after hearing that they're flying off the shelves. It's a common occurrence that jokes will fly painfully high over Mark's little head. "Sonytendo already explained in a much nicer way, so your rude input was no longer needed Goodgrief. I am new here, so lambaste me for not being in the lingo some more why don't you?" Another angry Mark alt pretending to be a new user "Big time lurker here. Though I'd stop lurking and join in the fun. :P" a fresh Mark alt on being called out for posting "These Media Create threads are not what they used to be.", contradicting his lies of being a new user. Mark's lies always get exposed very quickly as he has the memory of a gold fish. "And to prove I am not making stuff up, here is a topic showing how hot and passionate AceAndJunpei used to be at kicking Vita when it was the most down." Mark blowing his "new user" cover yet again by calling out Ace for something that happened long before his current sockpuppet was spawned. He then tried to cover up his lies by pretending to read up on old, archived Media Create topics, which is impossible as this pony would rather die than doing anything like that. Posting Style * Is always angry, bitter and butthurt. Will explode at the slightest provocation. Often gets banned for doing so * Loves to delete his own posts (before the moderators do it for him). Will sometimes have over 10 deleted messages in a single page of a Media Create topic * Spawns a new sockpuppet immediately after the old one got banned. Will sometimes create one in advance and is sometimes seen agreeing with himself * The moment he gets out of a warning or purgatory (or makes a new account), he's right back on the battlefield to attack the regulars * Has a posting limit more often than not due to being Board User Level "Warned" or "New User" all the time * House of LIES: his new accounts always pretend not to be Mark, only to get caught in their web of lies a little bit later. * Preposterous Projections: ironically clings to an "agreeing is alting" schtick and claims that regulars are each other's alts when he sees them agreeing with each other. * The Victim Card: When the Vita gets mocked, he pretends to be a level-headed poster that is tired of trolls and console wars, only to sing "LOL WII U" seconds later * Massive Meltdowns: Goes through more alts than underwear * Hyper-Hypocritical: Spends 5 hours a day whining about "trolls" on the Vita board, but is renown for drenching the Wii U board in flames and vitriol * TRUTH DOESN'T MATTER: given his track record of melting down in MC topics, that's not a surprise to anyone * Media Create Moonstruck: he absolutely LOVES to LOATHE those topics. Enters them to post "LOL WII U" and/or having a meltdown / getting banned again * Swarming Tactics: by now, mark could fill out an account creation form blindfolded * Moderator Mauling: Mark is often seen being passive-aggressive about the mods and how they didn't ban all those evil "trolls" that aren't blindly worshipping the Vita Category:Users Category:Trolls